Warning: If you can’t handle whining, Quit reading NOW!
OK with that being said I guess I don’t have to tell you that today’s blog won’t be a fiesta!! I feel more like a turd in the punch bowl of life!! Gawd, I hate this feeling. It started with the damn scales going up and down then up and up and up each fricking day!! Ok you get the point here…daily torture from the metal devil! I wanted to throw it through the damn wall this morning…seriously!
I know it’s not the devils fault but my own. YES I am ADMITTING it!! It is MY fault!! I ate those 2 white chocolate and Macadamia nut cookies yesterday at lunch time. I did eat healthy for lunch, baked snapper, steamed veggies and salad BUT I could not resist those cookies damn it! Cookies, donuts and petit fours are my BIG DOWNFALLS! So far since March I have avoided the donuts, but I have had several cookies and 2 petit fours! I hate this feeling of being out of control.
I know this may sound stupid but I hate being hungry….or maybe I should say the “feeling” of hungry.
In the past 5 months I have not had that feeling much at all seriously….but this has been one of those out of control, munch fest the past couple days and mainly I am scared here! I am scared I will fall off the wagon and not get back on. I am afraid of losing what little willpower I have left! My biggest fear is when I get on the scale again in the morning and it will be up again! And will continue to go up and up and up!!
I do feel like I get support from my kids, family and b/f but when I do complain the b/f says “Quit being a baby, your hot…keep your head up…unless hehe” WTF is that about? Quit being a baby? DIETING F’ING SUCKS!! I’m hot? YEAH RIGHT….if the dimples of cellulite on my ass, hips and thighs make you randy!!! Keep my head up unless? The asshole is thinking about SEX here…DUH!! All of which makes me more mad because I don’t think he is taking my feelings seriously!!
Yes, I know I am wanting too much too soon, but it’s hard trying to be patient! But I want to lose 100 POUNDS NOW!!
I want to be as successful as Steph and be thin like her, I’d kill to look like MMalloy she has the most beautiful complexion, to be athletic like Mtngirlincali and be able to run, swim and bike, have a supportive and loving husband like Weightbgone, be a great mother like Diet Coke…I just love her wit!
Anyways I guess what I am saying is I see so many things in each of you that I admire and I like! I am realistic and know that nobody is perfect, nor do they have a perfect life. We all struggle daily, we slip and fall but more importantly we get back up and continue on. Sorry that this post was such a downer. I needed to get all this off my chest and I knew you guys would listen and not judge me, nor think bad of me! If you made it this far…THANK YOU!!....
If not BITE ME!! LOL.
Hoping tomorrow is better…..:)
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15 comments:
Awww - you poor thing.....dieting sucks and it never quits sucking!! Here is logical advice - really if you are cutting down on carbs your body may be feeling hungry.......I go through that sometimes - maybe try some fruit - apples are good cause they are crunchy and take a while to eat. Okay now on to the life stuff - why is that guys can weigh 400 lbs. and they don't give a rats ass??? They will consume 12 tacos and never think twice while we are eating f**king carrot sticks and worrying about the carbs (I do it too!).......guys just aren't geared to be sympathetic and that in itself makes dieting suck but what you do have is an incredible wit, you make me laugh, you encourage me........you are a FIGHTER, an OVERCOMER - not just with dieting but in your life - and you know what I'm talking about! The weight loss thing doesn't happen over night but I can honestly say that I look back now and I realize how quickly it did go by.......I also realize that today I could still be 400 pounds if I hadn't chosen to do something about it every day for the last few years.......so just think July 24th of next year you are going to be "WRITING THAT DAMN BOOK" and at goal!!! You're gonna get there - giving up isn't in your nature
Honey, I am there with you! I want this weight off YESTERDAY!!! Life sucks, dieting sucks even harder--tell your B/f to kiss it. Men don't get it, they never will. You have done soooo great! You can do this, you will do this!! We're all hear for you!
I think you are amazing and funny. I have shared some of your posts with hubby and he just smiles and says, "I'll bet she'd be fun to hang around." You are dating a 25 year old hottie - they just aren't so mature at that age, so be patient. (actually, that is one of my many lies, guys NEVER mature, LOL).
Here's the kicker (Albert Einstein quoted various version of this, but I'll summarize): If you keep doing things as you have always done them, you will get the same results. You tried something new to get different results and Kudos to you. You needed to switch it up because of a plateau - not getting the desired results. My heart aches for you that this APPEARS not to have worked. Another Albert quote: I haven't found another way to fail, but just eliminated another thing that didn't work. (another summary, sorry).
Now, why are you seeing the gain? Maybe you are doing something to build muscle or maybe you're not eating enough of what your body needs. Or maybe you went overboard with the "real" item promise to yourself (I wondered about that one). Only you have the answer.
Here's the second thing (I promise I'll stop after this): It's summer. No, it's not a cop-out, it really is harder. I've heard and read many people saying they'll be happy just to maintain over the summer. I suggest you try some of that lower fat ice cream. I bought some LF Chocolate Ice Cream - 1/4C is not much, but a few strawberries (7-8) and YUM - 2pts. Also, LF Key-Lime Sorbet is awesome! And step away from the Macadamian Nut cookies. This is obviously a trigger food.
PS. You are hot. You are beautiful. You have a great smile. Very photogenic. Now, let's work on making the butt and I T C (not to be confused with Income Tax Credit) reflect that.
hahaha @ ITC! That still cracks me up!! Thanks for all the advice guys!
Collette I totally agree with the others and on top of that you are not a quitter! If you were would you have rebuilt after Katrina? And hello...you have lost of 40 pounds. Look back on that for a bit. Was it easy? Did it happen over night?? I'm sure parts were easy but I'm sure parts were hell...you are an amazing inspiration to me but also to others.
I think you have taken a huge step to realize your fears...but rather than have those fears stop you in your tracks have them motivate you and leave those fears in the dust!!
{{{HUGS}}}
Come on, Colette - hang with me girl! We are really similar weights (for some reason, I just noticed that for the first time today!) & I have seen a 1lb gain on my scale at home today and will surely see a gain tonight at WI - YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN - you're hilarious, beautiful, smart, empathetic...I could go on and on! Pick yourself up and tell your BF to !Kiss it! {{{Smootches}}}
-Chris
Well, sugar pumpkin, I've been having those kind of days too! I'm feeling better this week & you will too. Throw the cookies out the door, grab your tennis shoes & a bottle of water & GO! I'll get rid of my Ben & Jerry's if you'll toss your cookies. (not literally)
Hang in there! We're here!!
All the skinny girls here @ work ate the cookies...THANK GOD!! Yeha I know it will get better just wish it would all happen over night... Thanks BB {{{HUGS}}}
Yep, I'm a coder. Have my RHIT and all so I am certified. I work for a pretty big hospital. We have an ASC we code for too...HATE those charts. HATE them!!!! Feel for you though!!
Funny things we learn every day. You just crack me up every day! I LURVE ya!
You're awesome and are such a motivation to me. Your honesty always reminds me that none of us are alone in this. Even on your rough days (maybe moreso than your easier days) you show a strength and a fire that is hard to match. (and you're hot) Sorry your RL team doesn't understand but just lean on us, we'll catch ya :)
Thank you everyone...many of you today made me laugh and a couple even made me cry. I guess we all will have our day from time to time and today was mine!
I finally made some time and I have been reposting some of my old blogs from Roni's site. While reposting them and re reading them I am amazed at my determination and excitement up until now. Being able to go back and read your thoughts from 5 months ago is very insightful to say the least.
Again, thank you to all my friends here...without you I do not think I could have made it this far!!
Sorry, but the only way I'm biting you is if you have a Zinger stuck to your ass. If that's the case then we're in business!... You said it best "nobody is perfect... we all struggle daily"... And if the only thing you need to qualify as a "great Mom" is for all of the kids to be wearing pants every day, then I'm definitely a great mom, but if there are other requirements then I'm afraid I'm out!! Chin up, ALWAYS!!
*Hugs* First off let me tell you something girlfriend I have to threaten the hubby with bodily harm to make him supportive. LOL Just kidding!
Colette, you have come so far my gawd 40lbs is a lot of weight to lose and you didnt accomplish that without some hard work.
We all have those days where we wanna just throw in the towel but we dont because in the end we know things will get better. The hunger doesnt go away it will always follow us or at least its always walking around with me but each of us shall succeed.
You are such an inspiration to me and I am very proud of you. Dayum girl you have yourself one hot honey obviously you are doing a lot of things right. Chin up girl tomorrow shall be a better day. Listen to what I say or else BITE ME!! LOL
Girlfriend!! You are SO not the only one who feels this way! At least your man wants sex! Be happy for that one! Anyways, don't weigh yourself everyday!!!! I will do it twice a week if I think it's going to be bad. Otherwise, Monday morning is the only day that I weigh myself!
I KNOW you can do it! You've lost so much already! Go to the store and find 4 10lb bags of catfood. Try to pick them all up! That's how much of you is now gone, FOREVER! Keep thinking positive, and yes, it's ok to have a bad day and whine like hell! Each of us has had those days, I'm sure of it!
Keep up the good work, it's worth it in the end!
Oh, one more thing, I got this from a friend who actually goes to the WW meetings, so I'm sure you've all heard this, but I keep it at work and at home on the FRIDGE . . . . .IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN, YOU PLAN TO FAIL! Ok, I'm done.
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