A Thanksgiving Joke....lol

IF THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU....

COLETTE

"TURKEY GUTS"

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBANDS HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE.

THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.

HE TOLD HER HE COULD NOT STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO GO TO THE DOCTOR AS SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SLEEP. SHE LOOKED AT THE BOWL WHERE SHE HAD PUT THE TURKEY INNARDS...THE NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND GENTLY PULLING BACK THE COVERS, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATHROOM.

THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES. AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE GOT HIM PRETTY GOOD.

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER HER HUSBAND CAME DOWN STAIRS IN BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.

HE SAID, HONEY, YOU WERE RIGHT, ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DID NOT LISTEN TO YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? SHE ASKED. WELL YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND THESE TWO FINGERS, I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN!!!!