OMG I am so embarrassed to say its been over 3 weeks since I have posted. Sorry guys!! I have been so busy with my new job and needless to say I react to stress by eating. So with that being said my numbers are high....real high!
There's no excuse but plain and simple I just don't feel like doing it...not counting....not cutting back...not journaling....I am just so tired of trying and nothing was happening. I have not given up completely, but I have seen me take a perfectly great day which means I ate good and stayed on plan ALL day until I get off work. I am tired, don't feel like cooking and figure what the hell....Lets eat out! And then I think " I have been working so hard I deserve it!!" Its one big vicious cycle if you ask me!
Any thoughts? Suggestions? I guess I have lost my "mojo" as they say. And do you know what sucks? I have the money just sitting in the bank to get a boob job, but I want to lose the weight first. I had figured by this summer I would be at least 180 if not 160. LOL....yeah like thats going to happen...NOT!!!
Maybe I am destine to be fat? I dunno. I do think about you guys alot, but with this new job and all it has been super crazy. I am so busy at work that I can't blog like I use to, that and the company has alot of sites BLOCKED! :( And then when I get home I am so tired I end up doing one of a dozen things around here thats always needing to be done or I crash flat out in front of the TV and do nothing til bedtime.
Trust me I will be the first to admit that this lifestyle is going to catch up with me in a BIG way if I am not careful. But I have struggled so long...got so tired of " being good" and turning down food I thought I really wanted and not lose shit!!! Am I depressed? Maybe. Its just seems that everything is coming at me from all angles....kids acting up, new job and the stress of trying to find your mark and make a good impression ( yeah I am under a 90 day probationary thing) and having my usual on going fights and making up with Stephen, bills, being tired and the LIST goes on!!!
But I can say one thing, I still love you guys! I sure miss reading your blogs too. I guess its going to come down to me "making time" for whats important to me and my health is one of them! Sad huh when you know all the problems, solutions to help yourself but you just don't really care anymore.
I have really been trying to eat healthy MOST of the time but several times I haven't. When your driving to another town and you have to eat on the run its very hard to eat a salad while driving so what did I order? Chicken nuggets and a small fry. They ended up giving me a medium fry I think but did I say anything? NOOOOOOO I ate them all along with all 10 of the nuggets!! ( oh here is my reasoning...but I had Crystal Light so I save calories on the sweet tea I would have normally gotten).....errrrrrrr!!!
Its like there's a battle of good and evil going on inside of me. One says " go ahead, eat it...you deserve it" and the other says "your gonna feel like shit eating all that fried foods, your clothes are getting tight and your gonna be FAT FOREVER!" Boy talk about a mean conscious!! LOL
Then about 2-3 months ago I developed Plantar Fasciitis in my right heal and OMG is it painful. Some days I can barely walk!! I have been treating it with insert or innner soles, running shoes and Motrin. But it typically take 6 months to get rid of it! So needless to say thats why I have not been walking either! Bummer!!
Well so thats it in a nutshell for me. Not much else has been going on.....same old shit, different day as they say!!
Please pray for me to get my motivation back, I would love to get those boobs but I refuse until I lose the weight!!! Hugs and hope all is well at your house ladies!!!
Colette
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7 comments:
Hey Woman! Glad to hear from you; but sad that you don't have your weightloss MoJo! I don't know what to say to help you find it. It's such a personal thing what each of our 'last straw' things are.
What gave me the bost at Christmas was realzing I was starting the year 15lbs lighter than the prev. year. Ya not a big # and I thought I'd be down 40-50 by Christmas, but I thought 15 is 15 and at least I wasn't UP 15. So I decided to get back on the horse. I am glad I did. We all know that it FEELS so good when we are on program.
Good luck and I hope you find that MoJo soon!!
Colette,
Keep your chin up!!!! Trust me! Your post sounds exactly like a post I posted last week. Something my husband and I do that I find helps with not going out to eat, we have a weekly menu. There are nights when I come home and don't want to cook, but know I have meat in the fridge that needs to be cooked. Also the hubby will cook too. Do your kids cook? Just trying to help. Again, keep your chin up, we're all here for you!!!
Thanks for all the suggestions. Tallmama is right it is a personal thing as to what the " final straw" is...I guess I haven't hit mine yet. :(
Laura I can tell you this eating out is a HUGE problem for me. I lose self control and I can honestly say I will pack a good lunch to bring to work and all anyone has to say to me is "wanna do lunch" and I am on my way out to eat! Oh hell who am I kidding...if I sit at work and think about a certain place it will become an obsession and I will HAVE to go eat there.
Is it possible to be addicted to eating out??
thanks again for the insight ladies..love you all
Colette, Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman is a Christian song. They play it all the time on KLove. I don't have that station here in Fort Wayne, but I listen to it online at www.klove.com. :o)
I'm SOOOO glad you blogged again. I always say, when you are avoiding your weight loss blog, that is when you need it the most! EVEN if all you say is that you are eating like crap and hating life! Start by aiming for ONE GOOD DAY! You will feel so much better about yourself by the end of the day that you'll want to do it again the next day. I am in the same rut so I understand where you're coming from but I always like to remind myself of how far I've come and where I'd be if I wasn't trying at all! I may not be getting smaller, but heck, at least I'm not getting bigger, right?
Girl, we have MISSED you!!!
My advice? Start small. one good day on plan. See how that makes you feel. Then go for 2 good days on plan. Before you know it you will be back on track and shedding those nasty un-wanted pounds!
Oh, boy, Colette. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a rough time.
Honestly, the only thing that worked for me--to create motivation--was to just start exercising. I didn't want to, but I made myself anyway. Everything seemed to fall into place after that.
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